new staff wanted

Like Totally lives in the Cave in the basement of a building. She sleeps there in oblivion below the floors. Loud footsteps on the upper stories don’t bother her. She wakes up once in many days to write a sentence or two only to fall into lethargy again. To wake her up is not an easy step, first of all because mostly she gets forgotten. Busy footsteps on the upper stories don’t slow down for her sake. We feel sorry for her. There must be a paid position in the building, something like underintendent, to attend to her 24/7, but it is an unrealistic goal since the whole building is underfunded. Everyone here gets paid below minimal wage, and to open a position to attend to someone who doesn’t bother us while she is sleeping like Like Totally seems unpractical to our administration. And maybe they are right, but the rest of us feel somewhat neglected, too, because of her. Call it a socialist thinking or a childish sentiment, but Like Totally should be taken in consideration. If I were in charge, I'd first of all hire a research group to get a better understanding of who she is and why she lives there. It is important to figure out if she is a homeless creature who needs resources to get herself up to the upper floors, or a fantastic creature, a product of our imagination, because in that case we may establish some rites to honor her. They will help to unite us all and make us feel better.
Meanwhile, while she is brewing there, we, the people of upstairs, live with guilty conscience.